The Day-of-the-week Diet

Lately I've been feeling fat,
So I invented a special diet:
It's better than some silly fad;
Maybe you should try it.

Since following strict rules is tough,
It uses something better:
For every day you just eat stuff
That starts with the same letter.

Monday morning I began
With muffins, milk and marmalade;
Mushrooms, meat, marshmallows and
A fresh new drink called melon-ade.

Tuesday was a little lean,
Broke my fast with tea and toast.
Lunch was a too-ripe tangerine,
And dinner was a turkey roast.

On Wednesday though I hit a wall:
Could barely find a thing to eat
Waffles, walnuts, that was all,
Till I remembered bread was wheat.

Thursday I began to cheat,
'Cause nothing tasty starts with “th”.
So thin-crust pizza, thickened cream,
And a thermos of vermouth.

Friday came, a great relief,
A feast of fruit, filets of fish,
Fried potatoes, pho with beef
Really, any food you wish.

Soups and soda, salads, snacking
Made the weekend fly right by.
Never felt a thing was lacking,
Finished up with shoofly-pie.

I liked it, but I must admit,
I quit before week two.
There was no day with coffee in it
—what else was I to do?